Devotion
by Lukesse101
Summary: Jesse and Lukas are having a bad night. (Male!Jesse)


His yelling scared him awake. The sticky sweat he woke up to for the second time tonight was irritating him, along with the nightmare that he couldn't control. Tears welled and blurred his vision and he ignored them. _I can't sleep_. The pain everytime he looked at the foot of the bed kept getting to him, imagining that his best friend was sleeping there. _I can't do this._

 _He was here yesterday._ Yesterday was the end to a bad and good thing: the Wither Storm and Reuben. His friends tried to comfort him; as much as that would have been a nice gesture, Jesse couldn't talk to anybody. Behind the cheerful tone talking to those townspeople he was crossed and miserable at the same time.

His breath hitched, and the waterworks began. His eyes were terribly sore and a roaring headache was pounding in his brain. It was like he could only wake up to cry himself to sleep, sleep to have a nightmare, and loop it all again. His voice and throat was scratchy.

"Reuben...Reuben…"

For now, what was left of his friend is kept in a locked chest, until Jesse would have the means to move into a better place after the town is in better condition. He grew weak trying to open it, to see the remains. It made him vomit on the first attempt. He sobbed in the bathroom afterwards that morning. For a second he thought about breakfast and how hungry he was, but nothing could possibly stay down in the state he was in. Sleeping pills were an option, but the idea of waking up groggy after a nightmare, too disoriented to realize what was fantasy and reality, made the teen fear taking them.

"I just want to sleep."

What he didn't expect was a knock on his door. He told his friends that he didn't want to be bothered today, not to mention that it was very late. _Lukas._ He hadn't seen Lukas at all, assuming that he went back to Aiden and his friends after the Wither Storm died. He hadn't thought to make himself presentable, wearing nothing but his sweatpants and splashing water on his face would have to do in his state.

"Coming." He groaned, turning past the couch and the kitchen to the front door. The single torch on the left of the entrance lit up Lukas' right cheek; his leather jacket reflected the flames like a mirror. His head was low, before lifting to Jesse's sore eyes when the door opened.

"Hey." his voice was calm but shaky. "Hey… Jesse."

"Hey, Lukas." The blonde may have not expected the other to be bare chested, but Jesse didn't care in the slightest. "Come in."

Lukas nodded and walked in. Jesse squinted and then widened his eyes, taking in the swollen purple spot just below his left eye. Instinctively Jesse put his hands on his biceps, making their eyes lock. "Lukas…what happened?"

The blonde exhaled. "It's nothing. Aiden and I-"

"Did he do this?" His brows furrowed.

"Yeah, we both were arguing and we fought. It's nothing." Lukas gently moved Jesse's hands away. "It's nothing to get worked up about."

"It's nothing to get- Lukas, don't you think I would get worked up to see that my friend's having some _abusive_ boyfriend-"

"He's not!" Lukas spoke defensively, either for Aiden or Jesse's unintentional harsh tone. "It was bound to happen. I'm not surprised." His eyes fell. "I just wanted to see how you were doing, anyway."

"You can't just come here, thinking that I won't worry about… about _this_ ," he gestured to Lukas' face. "I have an ice pack in the freezer."

"Jesse-"

"Go ahead and sit down. I'll be back."

Lukas quieted, sighing but doing as told. Jesse went to the small kitchen, searching the freezer and pushing frozen goods to the side until he spotted the ice pack. _I should have used this for that headache earlier,_ he scoffed softly. While returning to his friend he noted Lukas quickly putting his hand on his lap from tapping at the bruise. Jesse sat beside him, holding the pack in his right hand.

"Come here." The blonde leaned in while he held the pack on his cheek. "Dammit, Lukas. I can't believe he did this."

He hummed. There wasn't much he could say. Everyone knew of Aiden's destructive personality, and he did, too. Jesse regretted ever making Lukas go find him during the Wither Storm.

"I was thinking about you." Lukas spoke. "I'm sorry you had to see this, but I was worried."

"Worried?" Just when his eyes were falling to the bruise he glanced back to the blue orbs. "I'm fine."

"Jesse it's messy as hell in here. You looked pale when you opened the door." He twiddled his fingers. "I figured you want someone to talk to."

"Oh, we're gonna talk." He replied, determinant. "Don't look like that." he blurted at Lukas's stressed sigh. "How long has this been going on?"

"It's not that bad." Lukas said. "Jesse, trust me."

"I shouldn't have let you leave." Jesse mentioned the night Lukas wanted to find his group. "That jerk. Is he at home?"

"You're not going to-"

"Of course I wanna talk. And probably beat him up, too." He huffed. "Why did he hit you? Why would he want to?"

Lukas took the cold pack into his hands while Jesse returned his to his lap. "He… cheated on me."

Even though he was silent, Jesse seemed vexed. "He _what_?"

"Gill told me. It was with Maya. They… they say they were just scared during the Wither Storm, and Aiden was worried about me. So she caught herself… taking care of him." His eyes closed. "And things… escalated. Once I found out, we talked and I said I wanted to leave."

There was a pause where Jesse went "And that's why he hit you." The other nodded.

"It may not look like it, but Aiden… he cares-"

"Are you-"

"Jesse." Lukas warned. "He does. He just shows it differently. We loved each other, and he wants nothing but the best for me. It's just that, he wants to _be_ that best for me. I've seen it when we started dating; it couldn't be anyone else but him that makes me happy. He wanted to be the first one I wake up to and the last person to see before I fall asleep. It was controlling."

He puts the pack down. "But I didn't want anyone but him. I thought, _All he wants is for me to be happy_ , so I stayed. Tonight was the first time I actually attempted to leave him. I'm sure it scared him, the man that promised to make me happy had cheated on me. So he hit me, I hit back, we fought for a bit. Then I left."

His focus was his lap before looking up to Jesse. "That's when I thought about you. I wanted to get my mind off of everything so I came here. I knew you were up."

"Oh…" he lightly shook his head. "Lukas, I'm sorry that he did that. I know how much you love him."

" _Loved._ I can't stay with him… not after that. I'm more surprised at Maya. I can't believe she did that to us. People who do that don't deserve attention right now, especially Aiden. I figured I can do something better, and talk to you."

Jesse's expression calmed at the other's faint smile. "It's understandable. That scenario… of.. losing someone…" He tried not to think about Reuben, but the concerned stare Lukas gave him meant he knew who he was talking about.

"Jesse, losing a boyfriend is an everyday thing. Losing a best friend is a whole new story. I can't begin to imagine how you feel."

His eyes faltered. "Yeah."

"How are you feeling? I mean, you might feel sad; how are you holding up?"

He shrugged. "I stayed in bed most of the day. It was too hard getting out of it. It just… feels weird."

"I'm sure it does."

"Reuben was a pretty active guy. When we're at home, he…" Jesse breathed a shaking exhale. "He liked to be everywhere. In the living room, he'd scratch his hooves on the floor to annoy me," then he chuckled. "I miss him."

Lukas puts a hand on his shoulder, carefully watching his eyes. "I know. He was a great pig." He knew Jesse didn't want to speak more about it, he didn't look ready to. The blonde changed the subject. "If you've been in bed all day, that means you haven't eaten at all. I can fix something up for you."

"You don't have to."

"I want to. I'll make something and you can sleep better without an empty stomach."

Jesse hummed. "Okay, thanks. I guess I could take a quick shower; I woke up in a sweat."

"Sure thing."

They both left the couch; Lukas went into the kitchen whilst Jesse opened a small closet beside the bathroom, grabbing a towel before going in. In the fridge was a container of recently grilled chicken. Lukas planned on making a sandwich with potato chips on the side. His personal go-to snack was a ham and cheese sandwich, but obviously that wasn't the case for this household. He was sure Jesse liked tomatoes and sliced a few onto the bread while he puts the chicken in the microwave.

He had never been in Jesse's bedroom, or in this case, the same bedroom as the other, considering the house was quickly built after the fiasco yesterday, and not his original home. Jesse sat on the side of the bed, appearing much warmer and comfortable after his shower. He wore an oversized black shirt with lapis blue briefs. Lukas sat with him, trying not to laugh while Jesse wolfed down his sandwich, apologizing for it after each swallow. _He was starving,_ Lukas thought. _Who's to say if he would have eaten if I hadn't stopped by?_ After finishing he puts the plate on the nightstand, sighing with relief.

"Feel a bit better?" Lukas smiled. Jesse's eyes weren't as red as before, and the smile he gave didn't seem so empty.

"Much better. I'll be able to sleep."

"Good. Is there anything else you need?"

"I want to put something on that bruise. I have coconut oil."

"I almost forgot it was there." He looked at him when he said that; he felt his face heat up for a second. "The ice pack helped." He mentally cheered himself for the save.

Jesse hummed in agreement and went to the bathroom, returning with a small jar of coconut oil. "Olivia puts this on me and Axel all the time when we were bruised up." He and Lukas faced each other while he applied the cream lightly, careful to not press roughly on the cheek.

"Thank you."

"No, thank you. I probably wouldn't have gotten out of bed if you didn't come here." He smiled. "I would have been a crying mess all night." Jesse's face came closer, examining the bruise. Lukas felt like he was holding his breath, his heart upping its speed. "You're so helpful. It's stupid that someone would even raise a finger at you."

Jesse glanced momentarily at the blue orbs; Lukas scoffed lightly. "I mean it. The whole time you've been hanging out with me you've been nothing but loyal. You always had my back, and I had yours. It's just sad that the one person you care for the most doesn't see that."

Jesse's hand left Lukas' cheek, but the blonde softly took his wrist. The other almost hadn't noticed until he felt the gentle grip. His eyes darted to his arm, lighting up in confusion and looking back to him. Lukas slightly leaned forward, but he didn't back away.

"I'm glad you see that in me." Lukas admitted. His voice was calm. Their eyes locked, sometimes darting to each other's lips while Jesse scoots closer.

"Yeah, I do."

They kissed, and the room fell silent. It lasted for a long second until Lukas pulled away to look at Jesse's reaction, to make sure what he was doing was okay. The other had different intentions; he pushed himself into him and they returned to each other's mouths, with Lukas placing his hands on Jesse's hips. After a while they parted again.

"You're so warm." Jesse breathed, embracing him and putting his head on his chest. "You're so warm."

"Am I?" Lukas chuckled, rubbing his back. He thought Jesse had grew nervous, but the sudden tremble in his shoulders meant otherwise.

"I'm sorry." Jesse's voice shook, and he started weeping. "I didn't mean this. I'm a total turn off."

"Don't worry about it." Lukas took his chin into his fingers, making him face him. "I wasn't thinking when I started this. Now's not the right time. I'm sorry."

"Okay." Jesse took his word for it. "Can we just… hold each other like this?"

"Of course. Let's lay down."

He nodded as he sniffled, getting under the covers, laying on his side as Lukas got comfortable on the other side, spooning him. He let him cry and in about twenty minutes he stilled and calmed. _Poor guy cried himself to sleep,_ Lukas frowned. He was at least happy to be there, so he wouldn't have cried alone. Now that he thought about it, this is probably the first time Jesse would be alone anywhere he lived, with the occasional friend spending a night or so. Quickly he took it back and smiled to himself. The feeling he had now was lost from Aiden, and once it came back it made him realize that he needed to be with Jesse.

Jesse said he was loyal, and he's determined to stay that way, and stay with him.


End file.
